So, after nine years of working in a call center and six years of working retail, I've decided one thing: working a job you don't like (which according to my family comes with being a grown up) sucks.
So, I've decided to remedy this situation by becoming famous. Now, I'm not talking like writing letters to a famous movie actress to see if she likes how I've mowed my yard and buy a rifle when she doesn't respond, or invent medicine to stop the common cold (science was never my strong point). Instead, I turn to you dear reader to help me with my goal of becoming famous so I can leave the call center/retail world. All I ask is that you do one of the following:
1) Go to craiglist and post an ad saying Bob needs to become famous to leave the call center/retail world so read his blog. If that doesn't work, then choose the male escort you normally get from craigslist and tell him all about it so he can tell all of his friends and clients. You know you're going to call him up any way, so do that . . . . I don't judge.
2) Pick up phone book. For those of you who have never seen one, grab the big yellow book some strange book fairy leaves on your door step when you're at work/school that you use for hiding your key/weed in. Start with the letter A. Dial the number listed. Tell them "Bob needs to become famous to leave the call center/retail world so read his blog!" and then hang up. While this may not help my own goals of becoming famous, look at the notoriety you'll gain for being known as the weirdo who called up his entire city and yelled some strange saying at every one who answered. Especially your old Aunt Sally who thought the government was coming to take her away, so she barricaded herself in her room at the nursing home (a la Les Miserables) and started singing World War I songs to keep the 'Krauts' away.
3) Call up the White House at 202-546-1414. When you get to the switch board, ask for Bernice. When you get Bernice on the line, tell her "Bob needs to become famous to leave the call center/retail world so read his blog!" Then promptly hang up. Do this again about 10 more times an hour until federal officers come to your door. Next, contact your local media outlets and tell them of the big news story happening at your house. Finally, make a t-shirt that says "Bob needs to become famous to leave the call center/retail world so read his blog" so that way the local and national news will be able to help spread the word. THAT, my friend, is advertising you can't begin to pay for.
So, here are the options to help out. Any effort in this is greatly appreciated. I'm looking at achieving fame by January 1, so that way I don't have to go into work on New Years Day with a hangover.
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